I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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