SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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