I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
