So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
