I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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