It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
