I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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