At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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