From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
