He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
