Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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