is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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