Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
