I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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