How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize