so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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