:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
