Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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