Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
