He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
