You can't special order awesome
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
