Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
