At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
