Duck Duck Cougar?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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