made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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