i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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