New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
