Swine flu. Run for my life!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How does one acquire holy water?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
