the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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