Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
