Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
