i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
