The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
