You made me cry and you don't even care
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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