I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
