I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you didnt know i had herpes?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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