how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
