he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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