okay pat passed out under dana's car
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I puked a lego.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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