I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
