i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
