She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
These tits shall not be calmed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
