who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
