I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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