I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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