I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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