alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sext me about skeletons
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
