two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
