we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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