you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
