The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
