Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
