it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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