Got a toothbrush?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
