At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
