There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
