I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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