And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His hands were made for my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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