I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize