where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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