hotel room ftw
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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