So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
