dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
