I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
