what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
