Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
